When I first came to Ireland I was shocked by how much people talk to strangers. When I visit my native Poland, I am taken aback by how much people avoid talking.

I miss the small talk. In Poland, it practically doesn't exist - with only a few cosmopolitan exceptions.

My family and I are brutally reminded of this whenever any of us tries to chit-chat with strangers while visiting back. Mostly, all we get is a blank stare. We’re completely ignored as if we’re speaking another language. What a sad lesson for my kids.

While I don’t have experience of enjoying small talk in every European country, my experience with most multilingual users of English tells me that they need to improve their small talk skills.

Particularly in business. 

Possibly, the concept of small talk doesn't even exist in their languages and cultures, and getting down to business is the priority.

While many multilingual individuals prefer to dive straight into business, here are some reasons why people should learn small talk if they want to function effectively and succeed in the global English-speaking workplace

• It's a great conversation helper, it keeps the chat going.
• It is a learnable skill and not an indicator of your personality
• It is a daily ritual, that although brief, makes us feel emotionally connected at work/in the community
• This study found that exchanging pleasantries at work has a slightly distracting, yet uplifting effect on employees. 

I also noticed its invigorating effects on me. Yet, despite its benefits, many people (multilingual Users of English in particular!) find it painfully difficult to develop this skill.

If you struggle with office chit-chat or business banter, here are three tips to enhance your small talk skills:

ASK OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS

 Engage your conversation partner (aka interlocutor) by asking open-ended questions that encourage sharing more about themselves. Instead of simple yes/no inquiries, try, “What do you enjoy most about your job?” or “How did you get into that field?” This approach not only makes the conversation flow more naturally but also shows genuine interest in the other person’s experiences and opinions.

PRACTICE LISTENING

I’ll let you on in a secret: good small talk isn’t just about talking; it’s also about listening. Show that you’re engaged by nodding, maintaining eye contact, and responding thoughtfully to what the other person says. This creates a more meaningful dialogue and encourages them to elaborate on their thoughts, making the conversation richer and more enjoyable for both parties.

SHARE RELATABLE EXPERIENCES

When the opportunity arises, share your relevant experiences or thoughts related to the topic. This will keep the conversation balanced. You may even find common ground! For instance, if someone mentions a recent trip, you might respond with a similar experience or ask for recommendations. 

BE MINDFUL OF OVERSHARING

Alert: You don’t need to be friends to talk to someone. Common civility requires a bit of small chit-chat, and it’s nice to engage with your colleagues and acquaintances while sharing relatable experiences.

Now, a word of caution: oversharing personal details may make others uncomfortable. Small talk is meant to be light and casual, so keep the conversation appropriate for the setting. Focus on topics that build connections without delving into overly personal or sensitive subjects.

AVOID NEGATIVE TALK

Contrary to what was often practiced where I was raised (an in many other places and cultures) I believe it’s best to refrain from badmouthing colleagues or complaining about work-related issues. Negative comments can create an uncomfortable atmosphere and may lead others to view you in an unfavorable light. Remember the adage: If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.

Instead, aim to keep the conversation uplifting. If someone brings up a challenging topic, try to steer the discussion toward more constructive aspects of the situation.

Ready to enhance your communication and boost your confidence in Business English small talk? Sign up for my online course. Join a community of serious professionals eager to refine their language abilities and unlock new opportunities for success.

Don’t miss out—take the first step toward mastering the art of business conversation!

Positive vibes, xxx,